~considerations
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 @ 10:25 AM
hello! wonder if anyone is still reading this...
livejournal is really great to use, user friendly.. but i know no one other than qi mei that has live journal..
although it does not import my blogger post, it's still pretty much alright. (:
i wont be using this blog anymore... so this will b my last post, gonna use livejournal, but this wont b deleted cause it holds my memories. (:
http://iam-abigail.livejournal.com/Labels: till death do us apart
~changed
Wednesday, June 30, 2010 @ 8:22 AM
hey readers! (:
i'm currently trying live-journal! (:
might go back to blogger.com, not sure though..
http://iam-abigail.livejournal.com/
anyone with live journal??!! might wanna add me.. hehes..
(:
Labels: i have a clear line between school and personal issues..
~my definition of innocence
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 @ 2:10 PM
innocence resembles the attitude and character of a child of 5 and below.
the way they ask for a cookie the way they say that they don't like this jiejie or korkor..
the honesty and innocence melts anybody's stone cold heart.
the only people who actually retain their child-like innocence would be those who are intellectually disabled, no offence, but don't you agree? i have a cousin who is intellectually disabled. he might be spoilt but at least what he does is from the bottom of his heart. (i think) he is not the only intellectually disabled person i have come in contact with. nobody above the age of 12 retains at least half of their initial innocence. absolutely nobody. sad to say,but it's true.
having innocence means that you won't be flaunting around. thinking that you've made friends by complimenting them.. having innocence means that you wouldn't mind someone who is worse off than you, being friends with anyone.. i'm not innocent cause i dislike you! i dislike you alot.. at first i didn't care much cause i don't know you well. but now, you're seriously getting on my nerves. you talk about how rich you are like a "rich" snooby jerk! you flirt like you dont care that you have a girlfriend.. thank God my ex bf isnt as bad as you! you remind me of rich snooby bitches and jerks! money so what? money big shit arh? i'd rather lead a pauper's life if thats what money is gonna make me into.. sad to say i know it wont cause i've been tested. (: *so proud* i'm proud of who i am, i'm proud of what i have. money or not i know i'm happy cause i make the best of what i have. so what if i cant go for annual holidays? so what if i dont own a prada heels? so what if i dont own gucci clothes? so? BIG DEAL?! yes, i do have branded things, but those are categorised under "charity case" -.- i dont like it, but what am i to do? i'm not a begger, i didnt ask for all those, they were given cause a certain someone wants to look big and charitable in front of those rich people. i dont beg, i dont brag! i'm not like you.. you make it seem like i'll b impressed by your stupid ways to flirt.
i'm not impressed! no rich guy.. snoobs. i've had enough to last me 10 life times. seriously... theres smthing you dont know anything about me, i doubt anyone knows.. mayb only a few. but even before then i didnt show off like you do..
Labels: innocence is determined by the way you react to situations
~too many things too little time
Tuesday, June 22, 2010 @ 2:16 PM
it has been so happening recently..
it first started during my 2 week break..
tableting workshop, BASF seminar, going back to school~~
and now that i've been back in school for 1 week, in the 2nd week now,
a few of us in the Pharmaceutica IG aka CCA is now on probation as either acting head, acting vice-head or acting secretary..
i've been given several task to plan already.. with seniors to guide of course...
but this time i feel that i'm more on my own compared to when i was in secondary school..
it's really stress cause i have people to answer to, whereas in sec sch the responsibily i held was so much lesser than what i am holding now... my hair is falling!
happening, yes... deprived of sleep, yes... no time to relax, erm... no comments... see less sunlight, definite yes!!! feeling scared for upcoming test, yes... darn..
i've been doing alright for school.. i just feel that i have got no time for myself.. be it to study, sleep, bathe or relax...
i'm falling asleep soon! if i'm given ONE wish right now, i dont want money, i dont want time with my friends, i dont want the best food on earth. I want more time so that i can sleep and re-charge myself so that i can perform better after that.. i just feel that i'm not giving my best cause i'm so disorianted and tired.. disorianted isnt really a problem cause i snap out of it easily.. tired is the main cause! >.<
i dream of a cool, soft bed, with comfy pillows and boster and a soft, thick, comfy blanket, raining and cool wind blowing in.. and i would be lying there under my white soft blanket~~ argh....... ............ oh gosh.. if i carry on i'll b sleep-typing..
science workshop later...
i'm really scared that i would collapse and then fail in my tests.. ):
i dont feel like crying though...
i just wanna sleep! really bad...
i can hardly stay up after 11pm now..
i miss writing in my diary.. ): my poor neglected diary.. but i've got no time! hardly have time to breathe not to mention poop and pee! haha (:
~sayonnara~
~what is it is what it is
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 @ 10:20 PM
i've been feeling full of emotions recently, so many things has happened..
it sucks cause i dont know where i stand, i cant seem to feel the two extremes of my emotions..
the poems i write suck.. i miss how i can sit on my chair with my hands on the keyboard and just type away and be satisfied with what i did.. but recently, all of those has changed...
i no longer wanna go away alone, cause the moment i wanna go away i wanna embrace myself with people.. what is wrong with me? too many chaotic things happening at the same time? or is it that i've shut myself out of
it for too long? i get disorianted so easily and so easily forget a conversation that happened a minute ago.. it's as though i've became brain dead..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so i sat by the quiet road side and watched the clouds go by,
out of the blue i heard a car horn and looked to my right...
a big blue car coming my way with its roof put away.
without a care i laid down by the fence with a brown horse behind it.
clouds passed as the seconds ticked away..
bright blue skies slowly turned to deep dark blue,
the stars are out.
THERE! a SHOOTING STAR.
eyes closed, hands together, i make my wish.
star light star bright, first star i see tonight,
i wish i may,
i wish i might,
have my wish come true tonight.
got up and left the place i stayed that day.
took a slow and peaceful walk to where i stay..
"BANG" was the last sound i heard.
i'm now lying down dead with a smile on my face.
blood flowing out of me and there, my heart stopped.
life's that short, that sudden.
who knows what might happen next?
love like you've never been hurt,
talk like theres no tomorrow,
learn like you'll live forever. Labels: lifes short
~reminisce
Saturday, June 12, 2010 @ 10:56 AM
do you remember the cinema setting?
do you remember what you said to me?
do you remember where we went after the movie?
do you remember what we did after the move?
do you?
i know i do.
i remember so many things, too many things.
but now you dont seem to care..
well, explains why too.. since you've got.. you know.. yea.
actually, you've never cared..
so why should i bother reminiscing?
reminiscing..
my holidays have been fruitful! (: really enjoyed myself.
~sayonnara~
fear is once again in my dictionary
Labels: holidays is ending
~seminar
Thursday, June 10, 2010 @ 11:30 AM
i'm currently in school.. ushering pharmacist, doctors, professors, speakers from around the world. it's interesting.. (: with my new found friends here with me.. we went absolutely crazy yesterday! was taking all sorts of weird pictures! aww.. miss it.. today is the 2nd and also the last day of the seminar.. (:
let me start with yesterday..
yesterday... i was running up and down, running all sorts of errands.. well.. yea. so this german lady, Natelie, my first impression of her was firece, stern and such.. cause of the look she gave when talking.. but later yesterday a group of us were talking to her and i found out that she is really very nice.. one instance where "never judge the book by its cover" is appropriate.. so yea.. we talked and talked and found out that she is here alone in Singapore..
okay. blogging mood just died.. sayonnara! (:
Labels: havent had a chance to pen this down
~disorianted
Monday, June 7, 2010 @ 9:26 PM
I dont know what got over me today and i felt "not me" ..
it sucked..
but then...... ...........
I talked to a friend of mine from italy.. i havent met her in 10 years!
and although we've only met once, we wrote letters to each other and stayed in contact..
you know.. now, i've finally realised that friendship bonds arent that easily broken..
no scissors or knife too sharp, no oceans too wide and no quarrels too big to break it. (:
aww...
alright! time to spend time with my diary!
Labels: sono felice
~Thank God!
Sunday, May 30, 2010 @ 9:24 PM
i've got job for my 2 week holiday.. (:
no torment!(:
no mood to blog.
~sayonnara~
Labels: i think i've lost the ability
~Lord I need you everyday, but I need you more today..
Saturday, May 29, 2010 @ 11:31 PM
i dont know where i stand, cause i dont know who is right..
You give me so many things I never ask for,
Your plans so meticulous that no one could ever think of..
The way You put people together to make the best or worst out of them..
No two friends are the same,
No two fathers or mothers are the same either,
And neither are two brothers or sisters the same.
All i wanna know is where the links are.. if someone, anyone.. could just fill me in..
I feel the presence of my comforter fading..
I feel
you, who are
you??
I wish that
you can show
yourself ..
I'm not scared, just show yourself..
Labels: bring me back in time to understand
~last day of school
Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 10:15 PM
woohoo! last day of school! (:
and there's so many things that is gonna take place!
the one thing that i know that i'll have to tolerate and clench my fist together.. (darn)
sigh... i'm sooooooo reluctant to do it.... but then.................... SIGH!!!!!!!
but then i gotta help.. (oh i'd rather go to school everyday)
alright! suckish thingies aside..
i'm gonna enjoy pharmaceutical science activities! (:
okay~~ i've lost my mood to blog. till next time. (:
Labels: seeing you is gonna be such a chore
~you just dont know when i thought you should know better
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:24 PM
you know? sometimes when you hear words from a person who means so much to you.. and you think that the words coming out of this person's mouth would not have pricks.. but then sometimes you're just proven wrong.. sometimes people just dont realise it.. and then they say without realising and whats worse its during one-of-those-days when you're really feeling down for nothing.. it projects, like a bacteria under a microscope..
it's just one-of-those-days for me.. darn.. it sucks.. seriously sucks.. i dont know how you do it.. one of those days when it just passes so slowly! and the torment is simply unbearable..
besides being one of those days with someone not realising that their words hold pricks in certain ways, you also have people who speak without facts going through their mind.. and then you feel so helpless.. all you can do is hope that someone wouldnt get into trouble just because of an idiot who sometimes is sweet.. and other than these sweet idiots you get real idiots getting on your nerves! 2 days straight! seriously.. they talk like their at the top of the world! they think that what they do is better than everyone else! they have no regards for your presense! apparently, the people who are around them are not treated like people at all cause these people arent people to them.. (sound familiar? well, different person this time around!) so just because these good people arent people to this person, this person disregard them and their opinion! this person is just lucky that you didnt have a cleaver in yoru hand to skin this person alive and hear this person's plead! how sadistic?! (oh whatever.. ) and then this person would argue non-stop and at the end of it this person would some thick-skinned asking.. "so.. is it right or not?" -.- seriously -.- then why bother arguing?! damn! would you just get a life?! no? then go away!
so many things come together in a day and then you become so stressed up making it one of those days.. suckish.. seriously suckish. i feel for you.. really really feel for you. i symphatise with you! these things just wear a person out so much..
alright, i'm done ranting.. (:
i feel so much better..
however, my laptop keyboard isnt feeling that good..
oups.. narh.. no harm.. (:
good night.
~i'm destined to be _ _ _ _ _ _ ! (: and i'm happy with that..
nights
Labels: being doppy for a day would be nice wouldnt it
~i'm one happy girl today
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 @ 9:08 PM
you know how some people have an effect on your life? how they can cheer you up when ever you feel their presense? have you ever wondered why? well, i dont have the answers..
so.. these two people.. i have no idea who one of them is but she made my day! (: she was this baby girl of slightly older than a year and so i decided to play with her by showing her faces.. aww... *melts* and she smiled back! then she offered me her sliva coated biscuit.. yuck.. but it was undoubtedly adorable! it made my day, it took my mind off so many things at one go..
and next! i've known him for so long, 5 years, going on 6.. (: his name is Jun Peng.. (: why? cause we were webcamming and talking over msn! i enjoy taking to him! taking to him made me feel like i was playing with that baby girl earlier today.. my mind was elsewhere and problems became non-existant.. (:
till next time~
Labels: aww.. i want a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ too
~bring me a little back in time
Thursday, May 13, 2010 @ 10:32 PM
Bring me a little back in time,
Bring me back there cause I wanna relieve fresh valentine,
Bring me back there with you when our hearts first tied.
Many things has changed since,
Since we went our separate ways.
You went left and I went right,
Like 2 parallel lines that would never meet.
Bring me a little back in time,
Back to when we were just friends of valentine,
When then, I wanted you to want me too.
And honey those were the best times of my life.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I had a sudden inspiration to write lyrics.. havent did that in a really really long time..
it's obvious i'm happy/sanguine.. (: nonono... no poly boyfriend.. no intentions to find one at the moment though.. I really really wish this stays.. I hope that this is a sign that i've settled down in poly. I wanna remain the same
happy-go-lucky girl.. attitude and character changes are inevitable, but i want to at least maintain this likeable-ness thing of mine.. (: ( thick skinned me. )
anyways, my first UT, Understanding Test starts tomorrow.. (: Cognitive Problem Solving..
poly has been alright so far.. if given the liberty to choose my teammates i more or less know who are competent. ( no names ) i've been known to be a tyrant when it comes to work, which pretty much explains my unpleasent times a few years back.. a perfectionist, as some would say. But! yes, but, i often screw up.. learning point though.. (: PBL! Problem Based Learning. (:
I've been feeling happy for just over 24 hours now.. lets see how long this can last.. (: I just hope that I wouldn't change for the worse now that i've returned to my normal self.. (:
optimist! sanguine! oriantated! in the lead! (: this might not last, but at least i would know that i wont reach to a point of no return.. (:
I'm just lucky to have friends and family who care.. (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: "sometimes you reach by just making believe... ..."
p/s p/s: i wanna read the Hunchback of Notre Dame & A Midsummer Night's Dream!!! !!! but where has time gone to??
Labels: i'm happy where i am
~a little too soon for me..
Tuesday, May 11, 2010 @ 3:09 PM
you know.. may be not everybody can relate to this.. but i'm well aware of the changes in the air.. poly has been going on for nearly a month now, and i'm still adapting.. i love my class (W36A) a lot! but then you know what sucks? me.. things are happening so quickly that i cant hardly catch myself doing so.. i see my reflection and i hardly recognise. i was recently talking to my best friend/listening ear and i mentioned that i've changed.. he agreed.. which further proves how aware i am.. which kinda suck.. i dont wanna get into another one of a kind situation that i always get myself into.. but then how am i supposed to differentiate?? or is it too early to tell how a person is??
i know what you mean.. i get it.. you're my friend and you dont want me to get into another situation where i'll be unable to turn back.. and though i know that you'll always be there for me when i need someone i dont wanna be on my own..
i've been doing a lot of thinking these few days.. thinking of how fast things are going and how fast time is flying.. it amazes me how close my class and i are.. we're calling each other dear and we're celebrating birthdays.. staying back to study for exams, and not to mention joking around like a 10 year friend.. it amazes me cause' i dont recall being so close with my secondary school friends after 3 days of school.. may be i've grown up, may be things have changed, i dont know.. but it's amazing.. (: i'm really really amzed..
now, back to my point.. this isnt something that i usually go through, i dont feel like that.. or you might say that i've never.. it brings the word emotions to an entirely new level..
"Love looks with no eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is wing'd cupid painted blind "
i think i'm gonna to continue reading more of Shakespeare's works! I've read Romeo and Juliet, next shall be A mid-summer's night dream. (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: i updated my blog in school! (:
Labels: 7 dwarfs is my fav
~surprise from us to you!
Friday, April 30, 2010 @ 10:16 PM
I've realised that i love giving my friends surprises! I gave Munyee a surprise last year by making a scrap book for her, I also gave Jasmine a surprise by "forgetting" her birthday. (: i love my darling gan meimei! and lastly, I gave Evelyn a pleasant surprise by preparing a card and I think a picture for her, I went to her house and stuck it on her main door, i wanted to stay though, but narh.. (: and so.. I'm delivering another surprise tomorrow! hehes.. I shall update on who this person is after the pleasant surprise! I'm sure that you'll love it.
Next, I'm gonna post what i'm feeling since last night and successfully hid it today while in school.. A feeling of disappointment, curiosity, sadness, uncertainty and a hint of anguish.. (just a hint of anguish) this feeling flooded after I read some "articles" (of which i apologise, but i'm not allowed to divulge) these "articles" were about the human feeling after a certain type of incident happened and the reactions that follow after. this made me wonder why.. why do they react this way? isnt there a way to counter it? disappointed first came over me cause' i'm well aware that i can no longer salvage the situation.
I simply dont understand why?! its not about the "aww.. come'on abi, let it go.. it has been so long" issue! nonono! it sucks not given an explanation after things go so horribly wrong! it sucks knowing that you feel that you're the only one unaware/unnotified! it really sucks! "so why didnt you ask around abi?" how to ask?! "eh... you know something i dont know is it? tell me tell me please tell me!" am i supposed to react this way?! i am SUPPOSED to get an explanation! not ask for one! you left me hanging there with out any other roles to hold on to! trust me, moving on/letting go is the least of my problems! but i dislike being left alone without an explanation! no explanation is "can you dont sms me" or "can you dont call me" -.- like seriously.. yea! seriously! then why were you so serious in the beginning when you knew that you were a coward?! you do realise that being made fun of is inexcusable.. i dont see why you couldnt have easily have chosen other paths.. yes i'm unhappy! cause the "article" that i read sounds a lot like you..
no doubt i felt guilty cause the "article" also states the state of mind and emotions.. but then again.. i do wish that we would never cross paths again..
urgh.. i dont wanna talk about it.. getting a little pissed..
~sayonnara~
p/s: yay! surprise! (:
Labels: whats this liquid coming out from the side of my eyes
~i just did what i was supposed to do a long time ago.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 @ 8:24 AM
yes! this is a happy post! as promised. (:
I... ... just... ... did... ... something... ... oh alright! well, it's not something bad if that's what you're thinking of. well.. for those who somewhat might know.. i deleted
it. if you know what
it is.. (: hey! its a good thing! i know that i should have done that a long time ago.. as for those that are partially flammable, i think those would be for keeps. (: that person was somewhat good, though that person lied.. but arh.. what-the-hell.. (: pretty much happy.
school has been alright though. presentations everyday, but its alright. i love the new friends that i've made. (: Sachi (half jap), Qi Mei (10 yr girls sch), Jasper (ah beng but serious worker), Mat (serious worker, part-timer), Tri, Violet ( i thought that she was 100% ah lian, but narh, i was wrong. (: ), Millie, Joey, Jenny (she has a cute but weird trait, she is afraid of candy), Nadrah (she produces her music, so cool right?!), Randy, Donovan... ... erm... okok.. i'm starting to forget. but so far i've talked to these people. (: we're at the forming stage going onto the norming stage then then storming stage. (: so far so good. (:
~sayonnara!
sono felice
Labels: you were yesterday's sunlight and i'm loving todays
~i'm trying as hard as i can
Friday, April 23, 2010 @ 10:55 PM
you know? sometimes when someone is a thorn in your flesh you get really really irritated.. and sometimes your emotions get the better of you and you cant help but react in a certain way that is not yourself? then after that you realised that you were being too aggressive and then you cant help but feel bad... and then the pain in your flesh turns into pain in your chest.. guilt and remorse... it sucks! like... whats wrong with me?! i get
this a lot... a part of a chapter in my new phase of life will always, no doubt be a screw up! but i just cant understand my my screw ups have to be so
utterly stupid beyond human comprehension...
i'm feeling irritated the past few days because i cant seem to get things done.. thats other than school of course.. its getting on my nerves.. i feel so disorianted.. i lose focus so easily that i dont even know what i'm doing a second after i knew what i was... see...
pure stupidity.. undeniably stupid! stupid to the extent where i can actually let my overwhelming emotions get the better of me...
previously, i told myself to use my head more than my heart.. it worked for about a year and then this stupid thing happened! so there's an expiry to this?! oh come'on!
so i suppose now i gotta renew?! how much does the renewal fee cost?! the ruin of my changed, previously improved bloody attitude?! it always sucks when i face this problem once in a while.. i completely lose myself! i find it difficult to even relax for even a second... i'm sooooo tense, tooooooo disorianted and sooooooo very stupid to allow my emotions get the better of me..
i'm getting outta here! i need a comedy!
p/s: i promise my next post will b a happy one.. its a promise.. i'm gonna stop sulking.. darn...
Labels: i dont work well under pressure
~all i wanna do is to let you know
Friday, April 16, 2010 @ 6:10 AM
you know.. a certain emotion sparks off and suddenly its not about how you feel anymore.. suddenly you feel like your face tightened and you hear you're blushing.. suddenly you can't sleep at night dreaming of the day you wish so much that could happen.. and suddenly you're dropped from high above.. a loud thud! your knees scraped, your palms bleeding and your bones broke.. but most importantly you know that something of yours broke real bad.. so bad that you dont even bother to fix it.. and now, instead of a certain kind of emotion you feel fear, having phobia of the one thing that brings joy.. and you know it brings joy.. but somehow, this little voice inside of you is asking you to let-it-go, but you've got no guts at all.. feeling too afraid to try something new... however, that feeling doesnt fade, you know you want it, you feel it, that tingling feeling inside of you, but you're ignoring it.. not wanting to feel more of it you shut yourself up... and then you realise that the more you run the stronger the tingling feeling grows.. not being able to escape it you dont know what to do anymore.. neither do you feel like talking about it.. it sucks, it sucks knowing that you're entitled yet deprived.. it sucks feeling good about it and yet fear it.. its all so contradicting.. but theres always this idiot.. you know who you are..
~the time has come to move on to the next phase of life
Sunday, April 11, 2010 @ 12:22 PM
oh yes! new phase of life starts in ... 5-4-3-2-1 ! tomorrow! (: yippie eie yeah! well, i was just watching my graduation day video and it struck me, why was i so eager to leave secondary school? when i could have enjoyed and savoured every moment, but instead i was pretty much anticipating my new life after that.. poly. now that i'm gonna b an official poly student tomorrow, i kind of miss secondary school.. it seems so far away.. like it happened not last year, not last last year, but it feels like it happened and ended many years ago.. although memories are still fresh, but it doesnt seem like i was just in school 6 months ago. 6 months may not seem like a long time, but it was hell! Well, actually, yea! it was hell! I couldn't wait to start school, and at the same time i pretty much wanna return back to the secondary school life i once knew.. ohwell.. whats the point of whining?? i still got my friends dont i? (: (:
I seriously think that if I seriously sit down and try to remember all those fun, nice, stupid, sad, angry and happy times of my secondary school life with my group of crazy friends I could write a book! *Time to let go Abi and move on* I keep telling myself that everything will b alright, my friends and i will stay in touch. (:
so.. i've been working since the end January, from Bakery to Hewlett Packard (HP).. and my last 9 days at Hewlett Packard were spent with... ... ... He An!!! (:
picture momento! (: yea, 9 days of work with him, doing Utilization study and meeting rooms housekeeping.
Labels: the adrenaline in me is rising
~keep your eyes of prejudice away
Sunday, April 4, 2010 @ 9:35 PM
whoever has a heart, with blood flowing through their body, regardless misshapened or not, is a human being.. it doesnt matter the colour of their skin or where they come from.. the eyes of prejudice of people nowadays are just so..... i just feel like saying "take a look at your naked self in the mirror and tell me that you're physically flawless.." tell me that no one has ever said anything bad about your race or religion or the colour of your skin or even where you come from.. i've heard that chinese are stingy/selfish.. malays are rude/idiots/etc... indians are smelly/'dangerous' ... foreigners are stupid.. dumb blondes, short asians, small eyed chinese, blacks, etc.. it sounds horrible. who are you to judge.. well, i'm saying this because i've heard too many.. it might not have been about my race and religion, chinese and christian by the way, and i'm proud to be.. i think that faults should go to everyone, including me.. me not because i'm racist, but because when there was a chance to speak up for these people i did not.. not that i was invited or actually asked to speak up for them.. but i could have defended them when i hear people speak of them like that.. i've seen people quickly covering their noses when an indian walks past them.. and some even cover their childs noses and say "they're smelly.." i mean! come'on! teaching a child such ethnics?? no wonder the world is becoming like this.. i have friends who are malays, indians, chinese, mixed blood, blondes, filipinos, americans and asians.. whats wrong with that?? i just can't seem to accept the fact that there are adults who are teaching children racism.. aren't you a human being too?? how would you feel being the inferior race?? Adlof Hitler again?? the "pure aryan" race... oh come'on! anyways.. i've finished ranting.. (: but just take a look at the
Labels: you're not perfect neither am i
~trust just isnt in my dictionary
Friday, April 2, 2010 @ 7:32 AM
i would never be able to comprehand the facts to why some people can have relationships over and over again, getting hurt the same way over and over again, listening to the same honey coated words from different guys knowing that it's just another lie and melt in their arms.. i'm not here to criticise those people.. in fact, i'm not talking about anyone in particular..
TRUST, it's important.. it's important to have it among family members, it's important to have it among friends, it's important to have it between a couple.. but how? how to trust someone, knowing that these people in general are the Earth's best sweet talkers?? (not sales people) in general simply means everyother one, not everyone.. there are good and trustworthy ones and i happen to know them... for those who still cant get what i'm talking about, i'm talking about boys.
some boys think that courtship is a simple thing.. some boys think that it's just another girl to go after to kill time, some boys take it seriously.. unfortunately the latter's percentage is the lowest among all.. or... i'm just too "lucky" not to have know more of them.. //
anyways... it's 10 days till school starts! yay! a new year in a new school, new friends, new problems, new challanges, new victories.. (: and as stated in my previous post... .... i'm going to school with evelyn!! yay! (: the anticipation is simply killing me! i cant wait to see my new found friends whom i met on facebook! (: i can even hear my heart beating, i can feel it at the back of my throat! so many questions! will i be able to cope in poly?? will i be able to keep in touch with my friends who have been so cruelly separated from me?? will i make friends for keeps?? will i lose any new found friends?? will evelyn and i keep up with all these new things, new friends?? *jumps and down*
alright..so today.. i'm planning to go to Changi Broadwalk to take photographs and at the same time make it a family outting.. (: yay..
~sayonnara~
p/s: we shall see how much effort you put in
Labels: you're not gonna spoil my mood just like that
Sunday, March 28, 2010 @ 8:00 PM
Alright.. it's 15 days till the first day of school and I'm just so darn happy! reason being... cause i have a certain someone going to the same school as me.. yes, Republic Poly.. (: and that certain someone is.... ...... no... not a cute guy, much less justin bieber! *infatuation* HER name is Evelyn!!! (: see the picture above?? yea... that's my best friend! we've been friends since sec 1 and now we're off to tertiary together! (: yay-ness! alright.. so.. i'm gonna start work tomorrow and time is gonna pass really fast.. soon it'll be the 9th of april and then 3 days later school commences! yippie eie yeah! (:
~sayonnara~
我想念。。。
Friday, March 26, 2010 @ 11:05 AM
我非常想念用话语写字了。。也非常想念写作文和公函。。更加想念上学的时候。。没想到我那么快就会在理工学院上学。。没有校服，没有好朋好友陪我上第一天的课。。 又要从新学交朋友了。。
alright alright.. may be it would be much better if i use English eh... haha!! (: yes, my chinese sucks.. but i love using chinese to write cause the meaning is so much deeper.. well.. as for english.. boombastic/sophisticated words or, in other words, wise sayings would have much deeper meaning huh.. writing in chinses looks nicer though... however, my favourite lanuguage other than english is cantonese.. nei sek zor mei? (have you eaten?) how nice does it sound?? VERY!
okok, you know what?? it's becoming moot... i dont really have anything to post but i have to... cause my blog has been.. lets see... BORING??!!
alright.. i was called back to work yesterday.. well.. i start again on monday, for 5 days.. and and and!! He An is working with me!! yay!! finally with someone i know.. (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: i know for a fact that you're all for keeps.. (:
Labels: i'm turning 18
i feel drained of all my energy
Friday, March 19, 2010 @ 9:24 PM
Labels: Father in Heaven, I pray for strength...
tell me when, why and how
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 @ 8:59 AM
up till today i can't help but sometimes wonder if you were really true.. i bothers me cause you're so near and yet so far. you seem to have gotten into one of the good books and the bad books of another.. so who are you? good or bad? understanding or misunderstood? i always thought that people of the same category could never be friends, am i right or is it just a misconception?? i wish i could have someone pass you this message of mine, but i would be a total fool to do so.. cause i know that that someone wouldn't believe me and speak up for you. somehow rather i've gotten myself into the bad books.. i know what i did.. i know the reason why.. it's simply because i was seen together with a person of nasty character to the majority... and i belong to the minority, therefore was oblivious to the fact that this person was an idiot! irresponsible and apparently a coward.. i ruined my reputation despite the fact that i felt that this person couldn't be trusted, and yet i trusted him so much. though i must say that i've carried on with life, many things still bothers me and i know for a fact that i will never know the truth.. somehow i really wish that i'm wrong about you. somehow i wish that you're really good.. cause from what i see you only treat those people whom you think are people good cause they agree with you.. i know how much i disagreed with you cause it sounded stupid and i was and i am glad that i didnt have an additional passe that i could have at some point in time.. it's just the simple fact that we cant seem to get along anymore or am i just being paranoid?? theres no way i would confide this in anyone.. reason being, i dont wanna be sent to IMH.. i dont wanna lose it all.. but i know that there are people who will stand by me.. it just so happens that you're army of who-knows-what is larger and apparently more unpredictable..
Labels: all i want to know is the sequence of events that led us here
just a little thing called surprise to make the year a little better
Friday, March 12, 2010 @ 8:31 PM
lets see.. i've a poem for my friends and i might just post it on facebook.. but since i havent posted anything on my blog for so long i might as well.. (:
here goes..
Fame and fortune I have none,
A list of many I can't achieve,
A list of none I have achieved.
But all I have and all i need,
Is none that you can give,
Cause' all I have & need,
Is deep deep inside of me,
Friends for me to keep.
alright, it seems to me that i can't upload any pictures at the moment.. darn.. another day then.. (:
~sayonnara~Labels: my life is neither a drama, sequel, sit-com nor a comedy. my life is a surprise awaiting for me..
working part-time
Monday, March 1, 2010 @ 8:51 PM
i'm craving for coffee!!!!!!!! (: alright, i've been working and some negative vibes somehow slipped through my body, mind and soul.. darn.. anyways.. i've learnt that no matter what happens life goes on, no matter how utterly disappointed you are in something/someone, life goes on. no matter how much a let down you are to yourself and those who love you dearly, life goes on. so how does life goes on?? when you see the sun shine, when you feel your heart beating, when you know that there is something out there to make your day bright. (: i've been picking up a new practice recently, everyday at the end of a day, regardless good or bad, i think of what i've learnt. so, i'm gonna share what i learnt today. i've learnt that no matter what happens life goes on, put on a geniune smile to everyone cause everyone deserves something/someone to make their day. so why not me?? right? (: here's one for you! (: yay! no more negative vibes!
i've been working at HP building, Depot rd. (: it's a temp. job, doing utilization and such.. my last day of work is this wednesday!! (i'll do anything, just let me go) well, not so bad.. (:
and yes! i got my enrolment package already! (: happy! (: i really can't wait to go to school! a whole new phase awaits me.. i wanna quickly end this chaper and turn to a new one, with old characters in it of course and not to forget the new ones too! (:
i just love this song.. the lyrics mean a lot cause apparently, i've been through it and it's a good let out song! (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: i dream of a band and dancers behind me while i sing for a crowd of cheering audience.
p/s p/s: i'll do anything, please dont deprive me from what may very well be keeping me alive.
Labels: my life journey begins in 26 days
new experiences
Tuesday, February 23, 2010 @ 7:59 PM
hmm.. lets see... change of plans to my supposedly wonderful week... -.- darn.. but anyways.. can't avoid the inevitable.. ISS called me back.. yes, the interview I went to about 2 weeks ago.. they called me back and i figured since it's just for 5days, i might as well gain the experience and get the extra money that might come in handy.. so yea.. (:
Labels: putting on a genuine smile in whatever i do
have i mention that.... I LOVE MY LIFE?? now i am.
Monday, February 22, 2010 @ 11:02 AM
it's..................................... another............................. 52......................................... days........................... till..................................... the 15th of......................................... April!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yippee eie yeah! (: which also means the first day of school! (i think.. thats according to the website's calendar) anyways... I love this week.. Because it's packed! Okok.. Almost packed..
Today: dental check up + dinner with Poelmans. Tomorrow: lunch + 'study' with Evelyn, Munyee and Benjamin. Wednesday: AES Girl Guides. Thursday: Free day. Friday: Valentine's day movie with Munyee, Evelyn, He An and Sean. Saturday: Choir practice. Sunday: Church. See! Packed! yippee eie yeah!
I'm so excited about going back to school! As in, it's a brand new school, with brand new friends! So yea. I've been bored.. It's just so recently that I've got activities lined up for me. Anyways.. I have to prove to daddy that I won't take advantage of this 'so called freedom' that I'm feeling.. Personally, I feel like I can do more things, there's no more "darn, I'm grounded" kind of feeling.. so yea.. but who knows what might happen when school re-opens.. With or without grounding, I doubt I would have time for my social life! Firstly, RP has loads of project work cause' it's based on a self-learning kind of thing, a presentation everyday and such. Secondly, CCA or interest groups, is compulsory! No CCA no University, or so I've heard. Apparently, my cousin's cousin, didn't take up a CCA in poly and no university would take her in. So it's that bad.. Therefore.... with project work/presentations + CCA = no time for social life.. That's just my guess.. and I hope that I'm wrong about this.. cause' i'm so hoping for extra time.. but! a day has only 24 hours, 8 hours for sleeping, 3 hours for meals, 2 hours for travelling, thats 11 hours left. Alright, I shall end here! (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: 2 days from now
tomorrow will become
yesterdayLabels: staying sanguine
~considerations
Wednesday, July 28, 2010 @ 10:25 AM
hello! wonder if anyone is still reading this...
livejournal is really great to use, user friendly.. but i know no one other than qi mei that has live journal..
although it does not import my blogger post, it's still pretty much alright. (:
i wont be using this blog anymore... so this will b my last post, gonna use livejournal, but this wont b deleted cause it holds my memories. (:
http://iam-abigail.livejournal.com/Labels: till death do us apart
~changed
Wednesday, June 30, 2010 @ 8:22 AM
hey readers! (:
i'm currently trying live-journal! (:
might go back to blogger.com, not sure though..
http://iam-abigail.livejournal.com/
anyone with live journal??!! might wanna add me.. hehes..
(:
Labels: i have a clear line between school and personal issues..
~my definition of innocence
Tuesday, June 29, 2010 @ 2:10 PM
innocence resembles the attitude and character of a child of 5 and below.
the way they ask for a cookie the way they say that they don't like this jiejie or korkor..
the honesty and innocence melts anybody's stone cold heart.
the only people who actually retain their child-like innocence would be those who are intellectually disabled, no offence, but don't you agree? i have a cousin who is intellectually disabled. he might be spoilt but at least what he does is from the bottom of his heart. (i think) he is not the only intellectually disabled person i have come in contact with. nobody above the age of 12 retains at least half of their initial innocence. absolutely nobody. sad to say,but it's true.
having innocence means that you won't be flaunting around. thinking that you've made friends by complimenting them.. having innocence means that you wouldn't mind someone who is worse off than you, being friends with anyone.. i'm not innocent cause i dislike you! i dislike you alot.. at first i didn't care much cause i don't know you well. but now, you're seriously getting on my nerves. you talk about how rich you are like a "rich" snooby jerk! you flirt like you dont care that you have a girlfriend.. thank God my ex bf isnt as bad as you! you remind me of rich snooby bitches and jerks! money so what? money big shit arh? i'd rather lead a pauper's life if thats what money is gonna make me into.. sad to say i know it wont cause i've been tested. (: *so proud* i'm proud of who i am, i'm proud of what i have. money or not i know i'm happy cause i make the best of what i have. so what if i cant go for annual holidays? so what if i dont own a prada heels? so what if i dont own gucci clothes? so? BIG DEAL?! yes, i do have branded things, but those are categorised under "charity case" -.- i dont like it, but what am i to do? i'm not a begger, i didnt ask for all those, they were given cause a certain someone wants to look big and charitable in front of those rich people. i dont beg, i dont brag! i'm not like you.. you make it seem like i'll b impressed by your stupid ways to flirt.
i'm not impressed! no rich guy.. snoobs. i've had enough to last me 10 life times. seriously... theres smthing you dont know anything about me, i doubt anyone knows.. mayb only a few. but even before then i didnt show off like you do..
Labels: innocence is determined by the way you react to situations
~too many things too little time
Tuesday, June 22, 2010 @ 2:16 PM
it has been so happening recently..
it first started during my 2 week break..
tableting workshop, BASF seminar, going back to school~~
and now that i've been back in school for 1 week, in the 2nd week now,
a few of us in the Pharmaceutica IG aka CCA is now on probation as either acting head, acting vice-head or acting secretary..
i've been given several task to plan already.. with seniors to guide of course...
but this time i feel that i'm more on my own compared to when i was in secondary school..
it's really stress cause i have people to answer to, whereas in sec sch the responsibily i held was so much lesser than what i am holding now... my hair is falling!
happening, yes... deprived of sleep, yes... no time to relax, erm... no comments... see less sunlight, definite yes!!! feeling scared for upcoming test, yes... darn..
i've been doing alright for school.. i just feel that i have got no time for myself.. be it to study, sleep, bathe or relax...
i'm falling asleep soon! if i'm given ONE wish right now, i dont want money, i dont want time with my friends, i dont want the best food on earth. I want more time so that i can sleep and re-charge myself so that i can perform better after that.. i just feel that i'm not giving my best cause i'm so disorianted and tired.. disorianted isnt really a problem cause i snap out of it easily.. tired is the main cause! >.<
i dream of a cool, soft bed, with comfy pillows and boster and a soft, thick, comfy blanket, raining and cool wind blowing in.. and i would be lying there under my white soft blanket~~ argh....... ............ oh gosh.. if i carry on i'll b sleep-typing..
science workshop later...
i'm really scared that i would collapse and then fail in my tests.. ):
i dont feel like crying though...
i just wanna sleep! really bad...
i can hardly stay up after 11pm now..
i miss writing in my diary.. ): my poor neglected diary.. but i've got no time! hardly have time to breathe not to mention poop and pee! haha (:
~sayonnara~
~what is it is what it is
Wednesday, June 16, 2010 @ 10:20 PM
i've been feeling full of emotions recently, so many things has happened..
it sucks cause i dont know where i stand, i cant seem to feel the two extremes of my emotions..
the poems i write suck.. i miss how i can sit on my chair with my hands on the keyboard and just type away and be satisfied with what i did.. but recently, all of those has changed...
i no longer wanna go away alone, cause the moment i wanna go away i wanna embrace myself with people.. what is wrong with me? too many chaotic things happening at the same time? or is it that i've shut myself out of
it for too long? i get disorianted so easily and so easily forget a conversation that happened a minute ago.. it's as though i've became brain dead..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so i sat by the quiet road side and watched the clouds go by,
out of the blue i heard a car horn and looked to my right...
a big blue car coming my way with its roof put away.
without a care i laid down by the fence with a brown horse behind it.
clouds passed as the seconds ticked away..
bright blue skies slowly turned to deep dark blue,
the stars are out.
THERE! a SHOOTING STAR.
eyes closed, hands together, i make my wish.
star light star bright, first star i see tonight,
i wish i may,
i wish i might,
have my wish come true tonight.
got up and left the place i stayed that day.
took a slow and peaceful walk to where i stay..
"BANG" was the last sound i heard.
i'm now lying down dead with a smile on my face.
blood flowing out of me and there, my heart stopped.
life's that short, that sudden.
who knows what might happen next?
love like you've never been hurt,
talk like theres no tomorrow,
learn like you'll live forever. Labels: lifes short
~reminisce
Saturday, June 12, 2010 @ 10:56 AM
do you remember the cinema setting?
do you remember what you said to me?
do you remember where we went after the movie?
do you remember what we did after the move?
do you?
i know i do.
i remember so many things, too many things.
but now you dont seem to care..
well, explains why too.. since you've got.. you know.. yea.
actually, you've never cared..
so why should i bother reminiscing?
reminiscing..
my holidays have been fruitful! (: really enjoyed myself.
~sayonnara~
fear is once again in my dictionary
Labels: holidays is ending
~seminar
Thursday, June 10, 2010 @ 11:30 AM
i'm currently in school.. ushering pharmacist, doctors, professors, speakers from around the world. it's interesting.. (: with my new found friends here with me.. we went absolutely crazy yesterday! was taking all sorts of weird pictures! aww.. miss it.. today is the 2nd and also the last day of the seminar.. (:
let me start with yesterday..
yesterday... i was running up and down, running all sorts of errands.. well.. yea. so this german lady, Natelie, my first impression of her was firece, stern and such.. cause of the look she gave when talking.. but later yesterday a group of us were talking to her and i found out that she is really very nice.. one instance where "never judge the book by its cover" is appropriate.. so yea.. we talked and talked and found out that she is here alone in Singapore..
okay. blogging mood just died.. sayonnara! (:
Labels: havent had a chance to pen this down
~disorianted
Monday, June 7, 2010 @ 9:26 PM
I dont know what got over me today and i felt "not me" ..
it sucked..
but then...... ...........
I talked to a friend of mine from italy.. i havent met her in 10 years!
and although we've only met once, we wrote letters to each other and stayed in contact..
you know.. now, i've finally realised that friendship bonds arent that easily broken..
no scissors or knife too sharp, no oceans too wide and no quarrels too big to break it. (:
aww...
alright! time to spend time with my diary!
Labels: sono felice
~Thank God!
Sunday, May 30, 2010 @ 9:24 PM
i've got job for my 2 week holiday.. (:
no torment!(:
no mood to blog.
~sayonnara~
Labels: i think i've lost the ability
~Lord I need you everyday, but I need you more today..
Saturday, May 29, 2010 @ 11:31 PM
i dont know where i stand, cause i dont know who is right..
You give me so many things I never ask for,
Your plans so meticulous that no one could ever think of..
The way You put people together to make the best or worst out of them..
No two friends are the same,
No two fathers or mothers are the same either,
And neither are two brothers or sisters the same.
All i wanna know is where the links are.. if someone, anyone.. could just fill me in..
I feel the presence of my comforter fading..
I feel
you, who are
you??
I wish that
you can show
yourself ..
I'm not scared, just show yourself..
Labels: bring me back in time to understand
~last day of school
Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 10:15 PM
woohoo! last day of school! (:
and there's so many things that is gonna take place!
the one thing that i know that i'll have to tolerate and clench my fist together.. (darn)
sigh... i'm sooooooo reluctant to do it.... but then.................... SIGH!!!!!!!
but then i gotta help.. (oh i'd rather go to school everyday)
alright! suckish thingies aside..
i'm gonna enjoy pharmaceutical science activities! (:
okay~~ i've lost my mood to blog. till next time. (:
Labels: seeing you is gonna be such a chore
~you just dont know when i thought you should know better
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 @ 10:24 PM
you know? sometimes when you hear words from a person who means so much to you.. and you think that the words coming out of this person's mouth would not have pricks.. but then sometimes you're just proven wrong.. sometimes people just dont realise it.. and then they say without realising and whats worse its during one-of-those-days when you're really feeling down for nothing.. it projects, like a bacteria under a microscope..
it's just one-of-those-days for me.. darn.. it sucks.. seriously sucks.. i dont know how you do it.. one of those days when it just passes so slowly! and the torment is simply unbearable..
besides being one of those days with someone not realising that their words hold pricks in certain ways, you also have people who speak without facts going through their mind.. and then you feel so helpless.. all you can do is hope that someone wouldnt get into trouble just because of an idiot who sometimes is sweet.. and other than these sweet idiots you get real idiots getting on your nerves! 2 days straight! seriously.. they talk like their at the top of the world! they think that what they do is better than everyone else! they have no regards for your presense! apparently, the people who are around them are not treated like people at all cause these people arent people to them.. (sound familiar? well, different person this time around!) so just because these good people arent people to this person, this person disregard them and their opinion! this person is just lucky that you didnt have a cleaver in yoru hand to skin this person alive and hear this person's plead! how sadistic?! (oh whatever.. ) and then this person would argue non-stop and at the end of it this person would some thick-skinned asking.. "so.. is it right or not?" -.- seriously -.- then why bother arguing?! damn! would you just get a life?! no? then go away!
so many things come together in a day and then you become so stressed up making it one of those days.. suckish.. seriously suckish. i feel for you.. really really feel for you. i symphatise with you! these things just wear a person out so much..
alright, i'm done ranting.. (:
i feel so much better..
however, my laptop keyboard isnt feeling that good..
oups.. narh.. no harm.. (:
good night.
~i'm destined to be _ _ _ _ _ _ ! (: and i'm happy with that..
nights
Labels: being doppy for a day would be nice wouldnt it
~i'm one happy girl today
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 @ 9:08 PM
you know how some people have an effect on your life? how they can cheer you up when ever you feel their presense? have you ever wondered why? well, i dont have the answers..
so.. these two people.. i have no idea who one of them is but she made my day! (: she was this baby girl of slightly older than a year and so i decided to play with her by showing her faces.. aww... *melts* and she smiled back! then she offered me her sliva coated biscuit.. yuck.. but it was undoubtedly adorable! it made my day, it took my mind off so many things at one go..
and next! i've known him for so long, 5 years, going on 6.. (: his name is Jun Peng.. (: why? cause we were webcamming and talking over msn! i enjoy taking to him! taking to him made me feel like i was playing with that baby girl earlier today.. my mind was elsewhere and problems became non-existant.. (:
till next time~
Labels: aww.. i want a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ too
~bring me a little back in time
Thursday, May 13, 2010 @ 10:32 PM
Bring me a little back in time,
Bring me back there cause I wanna relieve fresh valentine,
Bring me back there with you when our hearts first tied.
Many things has changed since,
Since we went our separate ways.
You went left and I went right,
Like 2 parallel lines that would never meet.
Bring me a little back in time,
Back to when we were just friends of valentine,
When then, I wanted you to want me too.
And honey those were the best times of my life.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I had a sudden inspiration to write lyrics.. havent did that in a really really long time..
it's obvious i'm happy/sanguine.. (: nonono... no poly boyfriend.. no intentions to find one at the moment though.. I really really wish this stays.. I hope that this is a sign that i've settled down in poly. I wanna remain the same
happy-go-lucky girl.. attitude and character changes are inevitable, but i want to at least maintain this likeable-ness thing of mine.. (: ( thick skinned me. )
anyways, my first UT, Understanding Test starts tomorrow.. (: Cognitive Problem Solving..
poly has been alright so far.. if given the liberty to choose my teammates i more or less know who are competent. ( no names ) i've been known to be a tyrant when it comes to work, which pretty much explains my unpleasent times a few years back.. a perfectionist, as some would say. But! yes, but, i often screw up.. learning point though.. (: PBL! Problem Based Learning. (:
I've been feeling happy for just over 24 hours now.. lets see how long this can last.. (: I just hope that I wouldn't change for the worse now that i've returned to my normal self.. (:
optimist! sanguine! oriantated! in the lead! (: this might not last, but at least i would know that i wont reach to a point of no return.. (:
I'm just lucky to have friends and family who care.. (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: "sometimes you reach by just making believe... ..."
p/s p/s: i wanna read the Hunchback of Notre Dame & A Midsummer Night's Dream!!! !!! but where has time gone to??
Labels: i'm happy where i am
~a little too soon for me..
Tuesday, May 11, 2010 @ 3:09 PM
you know.. may be not everybody can relate to this.. but i'm well aware of the changes in the air.. poly has been going on for nearly a month now, and i'm still adapting.. i love my class (W36A) a lot! but then you know what sucks? me.. things are happening so quickly that i cant hardly catch myself doing so.. i see my reflection and i hardly recognise. i was recently talking to my best friend/listening ear and i mentioned that i've changed.. he agreed.. which further proves how aware i am.. which kinda suck.. i dont wanna get into another one of a kind situation that i always get myself into.. but then how am i supposed to differentiate?? or is it too early to tell how a person is??
i know what you mean.. i get it.. you're my friend and you dont want me to get into another situation where i'll be unable to turn back.. and though i know that you'll always be there for me when i need someone i dont wanna be on my own..
i've been doing a lot of thinking these few days.. thinking of how fast things are going and how fast time is flying.. it amazes me how close my class and i are.. we're calling each other dear and we're celebrating birthdays.. staying back to study for exams, and not to mention joking around like a 10 year friend.. it amazes me cause' i dont recall being so close with my secondary school friends after 3 days of school.. may be i've grown up, may be things have changed, i dont know.. but it's amazing.. (: i'm really really amzed..
now, back to my point.. this isnt something that i usually go through, i dont feel like that.. or you might say that i've never.. it brings the word emotions to an entirely new level..
"Love looks with no eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is wing'd cupid painted blind "
i think i'm gonna to continue reading more of Shakespeare's works! I've read Romeo and Juliet, next shall be A mid-summer's night dream. (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: i updated my blog in school! (:
Labels: 7 dwarfs is my fav
~surprise from us to you!
Friday, April 30, 2010 @ 10:16 PM
I've realised that i love giving my friends surprises! I gave Munyee a surprise last year by making a scrap book for her, I also gave Jasmine a surprise by "forgetting" her birthday. (: i love my darling gan meimei! and lastly, I gave Evelyn a pleasant surprise by preparing a card and I think a picture for her, I went to her house and stuck it on her main door, i wanted to stay though, but narh.. (: and so.. I'm delivering another surprise tomorrow! hehes.. I shall update on who this person is after the pleasant surprise! I'm sure that you'll love it.
Next, I'm gonna post what i'm feeling since last night and successfully hid it today while in school.. A feeling of disappointment, curiosity, sadness, uncertainty and a hint of anguish.. (just a hint of anguish) this feeling flooded after I read some "articles" (of which i apologise, but i'm not allowed to divulge) these "articles" were about the human feeling after a certain type of incident happened and the reactions that follow after. this made me wonder why.. why do they react this way? isnt there a way to counter it? disappointed first came over me cause' i'm well aware that i can no longer salvage the situation.
I simply dont understand why?! its not about the "aww.. come'on abi, let it go.. it has been so long" issue! nonono! it sucks not given an explanation after things go so horribly wrong! it sucks knowing that you feel that you're the only one unaware/unnotified! it really sucks! "so why didnt you ask around abi?" how to ask?! "eh... you know something i dont know is it? tell me tell me please tell me!" am i supposed to react this way?! i am SUPPOSED to get an explanation! not ask for one! you left me hanging there with out any other roles to hold on to! trust me, moving on/letting go is the least of my problems! but i dislike being left alone without an explanation! no explanation is "can you dont sms me" or "can you dont call me" -.- like seriously.. yea! seriously! then why were you so serious in the beginning when you knew that you were a coward?! you do realise that being made fun of is inexcusable.. i dont see why you couldnt have easily have chosen other paths.. yes i'm unhappy! cause the "article" that i read sounds a lot like you..
no doubt i felt guilty cause the "article" also states the state of mind and emotions.. but then again.. i do wish that we would never cross paths again..
urgh.. i dont wanna talk about it.. getting a little pissed..
~sayonnara~
p/s: yay! surprise! (:
Labels: whats this liquid coming out from the side of my eyes
~i just did what i was supposed to do a long time ago.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 @ 8:24 AM
yes! this is a happy post! as promised. (:
I... ... just... ... did... ... something... ... oh alright! well, it's not something bad if that's what you're thinking of. well.. for those who somewhat might know.. i deleted
it. if you know what
it is.. (: hey! its a good thing! i know that i should have done that a long time ago.. as for those that are partially flammable, i think those would be for keeps. (: that person was somewhat good, though that person lied.. but arh.. what-the-hell.. (: pretty much happy.
school has been alright though. presentations everyday, but its alright. i love the new friends that i've made. (: Sachi (half jap), Qi Mei (10 yr girls sch), Jasper (ah beng but serious worker), Mat (serious worker, part-timer), Tri, Violet ( i thought that she was 100% ah lian, but narh, i was wrong. (: ), Millie, Joey, Jenny (she has a cute but weird trait, she is afraid of candy), Nadrah (she produces her music, so cool right?!), Randy, Donovan... ... erm... okok.. i'm starting to forget. but so far i've talked to these people. (: we're at the forming stage going onto the norming stage then then storming stage. (: so far so good. (:
~sayonnara!
sono felice
Labels: you were yesterday's sunlight and i'm loving todays
~i'm trying as hard as i can
Friday, April 23, 2010 @ 10:55 PM
you know? sometimes when someone is a thorn in your flesh you get really really irritated.. and sometimes your emotions get the better of you and you cant help but react in a certain way that is not yourself? then after that you realised that you were being too aggressive and then you cant help but feel bad... and then the pain in your flesh turns into pain in your chest.. guilt and remorse... it sucks! like... whats wrong with me?! i get
this a lot... a part of a chapter in my new phase of life will always, no doubt be a screw up! but i just cant understand my my screw ups have to be so
utterly stupid beyond human comprehension...
i'm feeling irritated the past few days because i cant seem to get things done.. thats other than school of course.. its getting on my nerves.. i feel so disorianted.. i lose focus so easily that i dont even know what i'm doing a second after i knew what i was... see...
pure stupidity.. undeniably stupid! stupid to the extent where i can actually let my overwhelming emotions get the better of me...
previously, i told myself to use my head more than my heart.. it worked for about a year and then this stupid thing happened! so there's an expiry to this?! oh come'on!
so i suppose now i gotta renew?! how much does the renewal fee cost?! the ruin of my changed, previously improved bloody attitude?! it always sucks when i face this problem once in a while.. i completely lose myself! i find it difficult to even relax for even a second... i'm sooooo tense, tooooooo disorianted and sooooooo very stupid to allow my emotions get the better of me..
i'm getting outta here! i need a comedy!
p/s: i promise my next post will b a happy one.. its a promise.. i'm gonna stop sulking.. darn...
Labels: i dont work well under pressure
~all i wanna do is to let you know
Friday, April 16, 2010 @ 6:10 AM
you know.. a certain emotion sparks off and suddenly its not about how you feel anymore.. suddenly you feel like your face tightened and you hear you're blushing.. suddenly you can't sleep at night dreaming of the day you wish so much that could happen.. and suddenly you're dropped from high above.. a loud thud! your knees scraped, your palms bleeding and your bones broke.. but most importantly you know that something of yours broke real bad.. so bad that you dont even bother to fix it.. and now, instead of a certain kind of emotion you feel fear, having phobia of the one thing that brings joy.. and you know it brings joy.. but somehow, this little voice inside of you is asking you to let-it-go, but you've got no guts at all.. feeling too afraid to try something new... however, that feeling doesnt fade, you know you want it, you feel it, that tingling feeling inside of you, but you're ignoring it.. not wanting to feel more of it you shut yourself up... and then you realise that the more you run the stronger the tingling feeling grows.. not being able to escape it you dont know what to do anymore.. neither do you feel like talking about it.. it sucks, it sucks knowing that you're entitled yet deprived.. it sucks feeling good about it and yet fear it.. its all so contradicting.. but theres always this idiot.. you know who you are..
~the time has come to move on to the next phase of life
Sunday, April 11, 2010 @ 12:22 PM
oh yes! new phase of life starts in ... 5-4-3-2-1 ! tomorrow! (: yippie eie yeah! well, i was just watching my graduation day video and it struck me, why was i so eager to leave secondary school? when i could have enjoyed and savoured every moment, but instead i was pretty much anticipating my new life after that.. poly. now that i'm gonna b an official poly student tomorrow, i kind of miss secondary school.. it seems so far away.. like it happened not last year, not last last year, but it feels like it happened and ended many years ago.. although memories are still fresh, but it doesnt seem like i was just in school 6 months ago. 6 months may not seem like a long time, but it was hell! Well, actually, yea! it was hell! I couldn't wait to start school, and at the same time i pretty much wanna return back to the secondary school life i once knew.. ohwell.. whats the point of whining?? i still got my friends dont i? (: (:
I seriously think that if I seriously sit down and try to remember all those fun, nice, stupid, sad, angry and happy times of my secondary school life with my group of crazy friends I could write a book! *Time to let go Abi and move on* I keep telling myself that everything will b alright, my friends and i will stay in touch. (:
so.. i've been working since the end January, from Bakery to Hewlett Packard (HP).. and my last 9 days at Hewlett Packard were spent with... ... ... He An!!! (:
picture momento! (: yea, 9 days of work with him, doing Utilization study and meeting rooms housekeeping.
Labels: the adrenaline in me is rising
~keep your eyes of prejudice away
Sunday, April 4, 2010 @ 9:35 PM
whoever has a heart, with blood flowing through their body, regardless misshapened or not, is a human being.. it doesnt matter the colour of their skin or where they come from.. the eyes of prejudice of people nowadays are just so..... i just feel like saying "take a look at your naked self in the mirror and tell me that you're physically flawless.." tell me that no one has ever said anything bad about your race or religion or the colour of your skin or even where you come from.. i've heard that chinese are stingy/selfish.. malays are rude/idiots/etc... indians are smelly/'dangerous' ... foreigners are stupid.. dumb blondes, short asians, small eyed chinese, blacks, etc.. it sounds horrible. who are you to judge.. well, i'm saying this because i've heard too many.. it might not have been about my race and religion, chinese and christian by the way, and i'm proud to be.. i think that faults should go to everyone, including me.. me not because i'm racist, but because when there was a chance to speak up for these people i did not.. not that i was invited or actually asked to speak up for them.. but i could have defended them when i hear people speak of them like that.. i've seen people quickly covering their noses when an indian walks past them.. and some even cover their childs noses and say "they're smelly.." i mean! come'on! teaching a child such ethnics?? no wonder the world is becoming like this.. i have friends who are malays, indians, chinese, mixed blood, blondes, filipinos, americans and asians.. whats wrong with that?? i just can't seem to accept the fact that there are adults who are teaching children racism.. aren't you a human being too?? how would you feel being the inferior race?? Adlof Hitler again?? the "pure aryan" race... oh come'on! anyways.. i've finished ranting.. (: but just take a look at the
Labels: you're not perfect neither am i
~trust just isnt in my dictionary
Friday, April 2, 2010 @ 7:32 AM
i would never be able to comprehand the facts to why some people can have relationships over and over again, getting hurt the same way over and over again, listening to the same honey coated words from different guys knowing that it's just another lie and melt in their arms.. i'm not here to criticise those people.. in fact, i'm not talking about anyone in particular..
TRUST, it's important.. it's important to have it among family members, it's important to have it among friends, it's important to have it between a couple.. but how? how to trust someone, knowing that these people in general are the Earth's best sweet talkers?? (not sales people) in general simply means everyother one, not everyone.. there are good and trustworthy ones and i happen to know them... for those who still cant get what i'm talking about, i'm talking about boys.
some boys think that courtship is a simple thing.. some boys think that it's just another girl to go after to kill time, some boys take it seriously.. unfortunately the latter's percentage is the lowest among all.. or... i'm just too "lucky" not to have know more of them.. //
anyways... it's 10 days till school starts! yay! a new year in a new school, new friends, new problems, new challanges, new victories.. (: and as stated in my previous post... .... i'm going to school with evelyn!! yay! (: the anticipation is simply killing me! i cant wait to see my new found friends whom i met on facebook! (: i can even hear my heart beating, i can feel it at the back of my throat! so many questions! will i be able to cope in poly?? will i be able to keep in touch with my friends who have been so cruelly separated from me?? will i make friends for keeps?? will i lose any new found friends?? will evelyn and i keep up with all these new things, new friends?? *jumps and down*
alright..so today.. i'm planning to go to Changi Broadwalk to take photographs and at the same time make it a family outting.. (: yay..
~sayonnara~
p/s: we shall see how much effort you put in
Labels: you're not gonna spoil my mood just like that
Sunday, March 28, 2010 @ 8:00 PM
Alright.. it's 15 days till the first day of school and I'm just so darn happy! reason being... cause i have a certain someone going to the same school as me.. yes, Republic Poly.. (: and that certain someone is.... ...... no... not a cute guy, much less justin bieber! *infatuation* HER name is Evelyn!!! (: see the picture above?? yea... that's my best friend! we've been friends since sec 1 and now we're off to tertiary together! (: yay-ness! alright.. so.. i'm gonna start work tomorrow and time is gonna pass really fast.. soon it'll be the 9th of april and then 3 days later school commences! yippie eie yeah! (:
~sayonnara~
我想念。。。
Friday, March 26, 2010 @ 11:05 AM
我非常想念用话语写字了。。也非常想念写作文和公函。。更加想念上学的时候。。没想到我那么快就会在理工学院上学。。没有校服，没有好朋好友陪我上第一天的课。。 又要从新学交朋友了。。
alright alright.. may be it would be much better if i use English eh... haha!! (: yes, my chinese sucks.. but i love using chinese to write cause the meaning is so much deeper.. well.. as for english.. boombastic/sophisticated words or, in other words, wise sayings would have much deeper meaning huh.. writing in chinses looks nicer though... however, my favourite lanuguage other than english is cantonese.. nei sek zor mei? (have you eaten?) how nice does it sound?? VERY!
okok, you know what?? it's becoming moot... i dont really have anything to post but i have to... cause my blog has been.. lets see... BORING??!!
alright.. i was called back to work yesterday.. well.. i start again on monday, for 5 days.. and and and!! He An is working with me!! yay!! finally with someone i know.. (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: i know for a fact that you're all for keeps.. (:
Labels: i'm turning 18
i feel drained of all my energy
Friday, March 19, 2010 @ 9:24 PM
Labels: Father in Heaven, I pray for strength...
tell me when, why and how
Wednesday, March 17, 2010 @ 8:59 AM
up till today i can't help but sometimes wonder if you were really true.. i bothers me cause you're so near and yet so far. you seem to have gotten into one of the good books and the bad books of another.. so who are you? good or bad? understanding or misunderstood? i always thought that people of the same category could never be friends, am i right or is it just a misconception?? i wish i could have someone pass you this message of mine, but i would be a total fool to do so.. cause i know that that someone wouldn't believe me and speak up for you. somehow rather i've gotten myself into the bad books.. i know what i did.. i know the reason why.. it's simply because i was seen together with a person of nasty character to the majority... and i belong to the minority, therefore was oblivious to the fact that this person was an idiot! irresponsible and apparently a coward.. i ruined my reputation despite the fact that i felt that this person couldn't be trusted, and yet i trusted him so much. though i must say that i've carried on with life, many things still bothers me and i know for a fact that i will never know the truth.. somehow i really wish that i'm wrong about you. somehow i wish that you're really good.. cause from what i see you only treat those people whom you think are people good cause they agree with you.. i know how much i disagreed with you cause it sounded stupid and i was and i am glad that i didnt have an additional passe that i could have at some point in time.. it's just the simple fact that we cant seem to get along anymore or am i just being paranoid?? theres no way i would confide this in anyone.. reason being, i dont wanna be sent to IMH.. i dont wanna lose it all.. but i know that there are people who will stand by me.. it just so happens that you're army of who-knows-what is larger and apparently more unpredictable..
Labels: all i want to know is the sequence of events that led us here
just a little thing called surprise to make the year a little better
Friday, March 12, 2010 @ 8:31 PM
lets see.. i've a poem for my friends and i might just post it on facebook.. but since i havent posted anything on my blog for so long i might as well.. (:
here goes..
Fame and fortune I have none,
A list of many I can't achieve,
A list of none I have achieved.
But all I have and all i need,
Is none that you can give,
Cause' all I have & need,
Is deep deep inside of me,
Friends for me to keep.
alright, it seems to me that i can't upload any pictures at the moment.. darn.. another day then.. (:
~sayonnara~Labels: my life is neither a drama, sequel, sit-com nor a comedy. my life is a surprise awaiting for me..
working part-time
Monday, March 1, 2010 @ 8:51 PM
i'm craving for coffee!!!!!!!! (: alright, i've been working and some negative vibes somehow slipped through my body, mind and soul.. darn.. anyways.. i've learnt that no matter what happens life goes on, no matter how utterly disappointed you are in something/someone, life goes on. no matter how much a let down you are to yourself and those who love you dearly, life goes on. so how does life goes on?? when you see the sun shine, when you feel your heart beating, when you know that there is something out there to make your day bright. (: i've been picking up a new practice recently, everyday at the end of a day, regardless good or bad, i think of what i've learnt. so, i'm gonna share what i learnt today. i've learnt that no matter what happens life goes on, put on a geniune smile to everyone cause everyone deserves something/someone to make their day. so why not me?? right? (: here's one for you! (: yay! no more negative vibes!
i've been working at HP building, Depot rd. (: it's a temp. job, doing utilization and such.. my last day of work is this wednesday!! (i'll do anything, just let me go) well, not so bad.. (:
and yes! i got my enrolment package already! (: happy! (: i really can't wait to go to school! a whole new phase awaits me.. i wanna quickly end this chaper and turn to a new one, with old characters in it of course and not to forget the new ones too! (:
i just love this song.. the lyrics mean a lot cause apparently, i've been through it and it's a good let out song! (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: i dream of a band and dancers behind me while i sing for a crowd of cheering audience.
p/s p/s: i'll do anything, please dont deprive me from what may very well be keeping me alive.
Labels: my life journey begins in 26 days
new experiences
Tuesday, February 23, 2010 @ 7:59 PM
hmm.. lets see... change of plans to my supposedly wonderful week... -.- darn.. but anyways.. can't avoid the inevitable.. ISS called me back.. yes, the interview I went to about 2 weeks ago.. they called me back and i figured since it's just for 5days, i might as well gain the experience and get the extra money that might come in handy.. so yea.. (:
Labels: putting on a genuine smile in whatever i do
have i mention that.... I LOVE MY LIFE?? now i am.
Monday, February 22, 2010 @ 11:02 AM
it's..................................... another............................. 52......................................... days........................... till..................................... the 15th of......................................... April!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yippee eie yeah! (: which also means the first day of school! (i think.. thats according to the website's calendar) anyways... I love this week.. Because it's packed! Okok.. Almost packed..
Today: dental check up + dinner with Poelmans. Tomorrow: lunch + 'study' with Evelyn, Munyee and Benjamin. Wednesday: AES Girl Guides. Thursday: Free day. Friday: Valentine's day movie with Munyee, Evelyn, He An and Sean. Saturday: Choir practice. Sunday: Church. See! Packed! yippee eie yeah!
I'm so excited about going back to school! As in, it's a brand new school, with brand new friends! So yea. I've been bored.. It's just so recently that I've got activities lined up for me. Anyways.. I have to prove to daddy that I won't take advantage of this 'so called freedom' that I'm feeling.. Personally, I feel like I can do more things, there's no more "darn, I'm grounded" kind of feeling.. so yea.. but who knows what might happen when school re-opens.. With or without grounding, I doubt I would have time for my social life! Firstly, RP has loads of project work cause' it's based on a self-learning kind of thing, a presentation everyday and such. Secondly, CCA or interest groups, is compulsory! No CCA no University, or so I've heard. Apparently, my cousin's cousin, didn't take up a CCA in poly and no university would take her in. So it's that bad.. Therefore.... with project work/presentations + CCA = no time for social life.. That's just my guess.. and I hope that I'm wrong about this.. cause' i'm so hoping for extra time.. but! a day has only 24 hours, 8 hours for sleeping, 3 hours for meals, 2 hours for travelling, thats 11 hours left. Alright, I shall end here! (:
~sayonnara~
p/s: 2 days from now
tomorrow will become
yesterdayLabels: staying sanguine
you know? sometimes when you hear words from a person who means so much to you.. and you think that the words coming out of this person's mouth would not have pricks.. but then sometimes you're just proven wrong.. sometimes people just dont realise it.. and then they say without realising and whats worse its during one-of-those-days when you're really feeling down for nothing.. it projects, like a bacteria under a microscope.. 
so many things come together in a day and then you become so stressed up making it one of those days.. suckish.. seriously suckish. i feel for you.. really really feel for you. i symphatise with you! these things just wear a person out so much.. 
