I've realised that i love giving my friends surprises! I gave Munyee a surprise last year by making a scrap book for her, I also gave Jasmine a surprise by "forgetting" her birthday. (: i love my darling gan meimei! and lastly, I gave Evelyn a pleasant surprise by preparing a card and I think a picture for her, I went to her house and stuck it on her main door, i wanted to stay though, but narh.. (: and so.. I'm delivering another surprise tomorrow! hehes.. I shall update on who this person is after the pleasant surprise! I'm sure that you'll love it.

Next, I'm gonna post what i'm feeling since last night and successfully hid it today while in school.. A feeling of disappointment, curiosity, sadness, uncertainty and a hint of anguish.. (just a hint of anguish) this feeling flooded after I read some "articles" (of which i apologise, but i'm not allowed to divulge) these "articles" were about the human feeling after a certain type of incident happened and the reactions that follow after. this made me wonder why.. why do they react this way? isnt there a way to counter it? disappointed first came over me cause' i'm well aware that i can no longer salvage the situation.
I simply dont understand why?! its not about the "aww.. come'on abi, let it go.. it has been so long" issue! nonono! it sucks not given an explanation after things go so horribly wrong! it sucks knowing that you feel that you're the only one unaware/unnotified! it really sucks! "so why didnt you ask around abi?" how to ask?! "eh... you know something i dont know is it? tell me tell me please tell me!" am i supposed to react this way?! i am SUPPOSED to get an explanation! not ask for one! you left me hanging there with out any other roles to hold on to! trust me, moving on/letting go is the least of my problems! but i dislike being left alone without an explanation! no explanation is "can you dont sms me" or "can you dont call me" -.- like seriously.. yea! seriously! then why were you so serious in the beginning when you knew that you were a coward?! you do realise that being made fun of is inexcusable.. i dont see why you couldnt have easily have chosen other paths.. yes i'm unhappy! cause the "article" that i read sounds a lot like you..
no doubt i felt guilty cause the "article" also states the state of mind and emotions.. but then again.. i do wish that we would never cross paths again..

urgh.. i dont wanna talk about it.. getting a little pissed..

~sayonnara~
p/s: yay! surprise! (:

Labels: whats this liquid coming out from the side of my eyes

yes! this is a happy post! as promised. (:

I... ... just... ... did... ... something... ... oh alright! well, it's not something bad if that's what you're thinking of. well.. for those who somewhat might know.. i deleted it. if you know what it is.. (: hey! its a good thing! i know that i should have done that a long time ago.. as for those that are partially flammable, i think those would be for keeps. (: that person was somewhat good, though that person lied.. but arh.. what-the-hell.. (: pretty much happy.

school has been alright though. presentations everyday, but its alright. i love the new friends that i've made. (: Sachi (half jap), Qi Mei (10 yr girls sch), Jasper (ah beng but serious worker), Mat (serious worker, part-timer), Tri, Violet ( i thought that she was 100% ah lian, but narh, i was wrong. (: ), Millie, Joey, Jenny (she has a cute but weird trait, she is afraid of candy), Nadrah (she produces her music, so cool right?!), Randy, Donovan... ... erm... okok.. i'm starting to forget. but so far i've talked to these people. (: we're at the forming stage going onto the norming stage then then storming stage. (: so far so good. (:

~sayonnara!
sono felice

Labels: you were yesterday's sunlight and i'm loving todays

you know? sometimes when someone is a thorn in your flesh you get really really irritated.. and sometimes your emotions get the better of you and you cant help but react in a certain way that is not yourself? then after that you realised that you were being too aggressive and then you cant help but feel bad... and then the pain in your flesh turns into pain in your chest.. guilt and remorse... it sucks! like... whats wrong with me?! i get this a lot... a part of a chapter in my new phase of life will always, no doubt be a screw up! but i just cant understand my my screw ups have to be so utterly stupid beyond human comprehension...

i'm feeling irritated the past few days because i cant seem to get things done.. thats other than school of course.. its getting on my nerves.. i feel so disorianted.. i lose focus so easily that i dont even know what i'm doing a second after i knew what i was... see... pure stupidity.. undeniably stupid! stupid to the extent where i can actually let my overwhelming emotions get the better of me...

previously, i told myself to use my head more than my heart.. it worked for about a year and then this stupid thing happened! so there's an expiry to this?! oh come'on! so i suppose now i gotta renew?! how much does the renewal fee cost?! the ruin of my changed, previously improved bloody attitude?! it always sucks when i face this problem once in a while.. i completely lose myself! i find it difficult to even relax for even a second... i'm sooooo tense, tooooooo disorianted and sooooooo very stupid to allow my emotions get the better of me..

i'm getting outta here! i need a comedy!

p/s: i promise my next post will b a happy one.. its a promise.. i'm gonna stop sulking.. darn...

Labels: i dont work well under pressure

you know.. a certain emotion sparks off and suddenly its not about how you feel anymore.. suddenly you feel like your face tightened and you hear you're blushing.. suddenly you can't sleep at night dreaming of the day you wish so much that could happen.. and suddenly you're dropped from high above.. a loud thud! your knees scraped, your palms bleeding and your bones broke.. but most importantly you know that something of yours broke real bad.. so bad that you dont even bother to fix it.. and now, instead of a certain kind of emotion you feel fear, having phobia of the one thing that brings joy.. and you know it brings joy.. but somehow, this little voice inside of you is asking you to let-it-go, but you've got no guts at all.. feeling too afraid to try something new... however, that feeling doesnt fade, you know you want it, you feel it, that tingling feeling inside of you, but you're ignoring it.. not wanting to feel more of it you shut yourself up... and then you realise that the more you run the stronger the tingling feeling grows.. not being able to escape it you dont know what to do anymore.. neither do you feel like talking about it.. it sucks, it sucks knowing that you're entitled yet deprived.. it sucks feeling good about it and yet fear it.. its all so contradicting.. but theres always this idiot.. you know who you are..

Labels: the adrenaline in me is rising

whoever has a heart, with blood flowing through their body, regardless misshapened or not, is a human being.. it doesnt matter the colour of their skin or where they come from.. the eyes of prejudice of people nowadays are just so..... i just feel like saying "take a look at your naked self in the mirror and tell me that you're physically flawless.." tell me that no one has ever said anything bad about your race or religion or the colour of your skin or even where you come from.. i've heard that chinese are stingy/selfish.. malays are rude/idiots/etc... indians are smelly/'dangerous' ... foreigners are stupid.. dumb blondes, short asians, small eyed chinese, blacks, etc.. it sounds horrible. who are you to judge.. well, i'm saying this because i've heard too many.. it might not have been about my race and religion, chinese and christian by the way, and i'm proud to be.. i think that faults should go to everyone, including me.. me not because i'm racist, but because when there was a chance to speak up for these people i did not.. not that i was invited or actually asked to speak up for them.. but i could have defended them when i hear people speak of them like that.. i've seen people quickly covering their noses when an indian walks past them.. and some even cover their childs noses and say "they're smelly.." i mean! come'on! teaching a child such ethnics?? no wonder the world is becoming like this.. i have friends who are malays, indians, chinese, mixed blood, blondes, filipinos, americans and asians.. whats wrong with that?? i just can't seem to accept the fact that there are adults who are teaching children racism.. aren't you a human being too?? how would you feel being the inferior race?? Adlof Hitler again?? the "pure aryan" race... oh come'on! anyways.. i've finished ranting.. (: but just take a look at the

Labels: you're not perfect neither am i

p/s: we shall see how much effort you put in

Labels: you're not gonna spoil my mood just like that

I've realised that i love giving my friends surprises! I gave Munyee a surprise last year by making a scrap book for her, I also gave Jasmine a surprise by "forgetting" her birthday. (: i love my darling gan meimei! and lastly, I gave Evelyn a pleasant surprise by preparing a card and I think a picture for her, I went to her house and stuck it on her main door, i wanted to stay though, but narh.. (: and so.. I'm delivering another surprise tomorrow! hehes.. I shall update on who this person is after the pleasant surprise! I'm sure that you'll love it.

Next, I'm gonna post what i'm feeling since last night and successfully hid it today while in school.. A feeling of disappointment, curiosity, sadness, uncertainty and a hint of anguish.. (just a hint of anguish) this feeling flooded after I read some "articles" (of which i apologise, but i'm not allowed to divulge) these "articles" were about the human feeling after a certain type of incident happened and the reactions that follow after. this made me wonder why.. why do they react this way? isnt there a way to counter it? disappointed first came over me cause' i'm well aware that i can no longer salvage the situation.
I simply dont understand why?! its not about the "aww.. come'on abi, let it go.. it has been so long" issue! nonono! it sucks not given an explanation after things go so horribly wrong! it sucks knowing that you feel that you're the only one unaware/unnotified! it really sucks! "so why didnt you ask around abi?" how to ask?! "eh... you know something i dont know is it? tell me tell me please tell me!" am i supposed to react this way?! i am SUPPOSED to get an explanation! not ask for one! you left me hanging there with out any other roles to hold on to! trust me, moving on/letting go is the least of my problems! but i dislike being left alone without an explanation! no explanation is "can you dont sms me" or "can you dont call me" -.- like seriously.. yea! seriously! then why were you so serious in the beginning when you knew that you were a coward?! you do realise that being made fun of is inexcusable.. i dont see why you couldnt have easily have chosen other paths.. yes i'm unhappy! cause the "article" that i read sounds a lot like you..
no doubt i felt guilty cause the "article" also states the state of mind and emotions.. but then again.. i do wish that we would never cross paths again..

urgh.. i dont wanna talk about it.. getting a little pissed..

~sayonnara~
p/s: yay! surprise! (:

Labels: whats this liquid coming out from the side of my eyes

yes! this is a happy post! as promised. (:

I... ... just... ... did... ... something... ... oh alright! well, it's not something bad if that's what you're thinking of. well.. for those who somewhat might know.. i deleted it. if you know what it is.. (: hey! its a good thing! i know that i should have done that a long time ago.. as for those that are partially flammable, i think those would be for keeps. (: that person was somewhat good, though that person lied.. but arh.. what-the-hell.. (: pretty much happy.

school has been alright though. presentations everyday, but its alright. i love the new friends that i've made. (: Sachi (half jap), Qi Mei (10 yr girls sch), Jasper (ah beng but serious worker), Mat (serious worker, part-timer), Tri, Violet ( i thought that she was 100% ah lian, but narh, i was wrong. (: ), Millie, Joey, Jenny (she has a cute but weird trait, she is afraid of candy), Nadrah (she produces her music, so cool right?!), Randy, Donovan... ... erm... okok.. i'm starting to forget. but so far i've talked to these people. (: we're at the forming stage going onto the norming stage then then storming stage. (: so far so good. (:

~sayonnara!
sono felice

Labels: you were yesterday's sunlight and i'm loving todays

you know? sometimes when someone is a thorn in your flesh you get really really irritated.. and sometimes your emotions get the better of you and you cant help but react in a certain way that is not yourself? then after that you realised that you were being too aggressive and then you cant help but feel bad... and then the pain in your flesh turns into pain in your chest.. guilt and remorse... it sucks! like... whats wrong with me?! i get this a lot... a part of a chapter in my new phase of life will always, no doubt be a screw up! but i just cant understand my my screw ups have to be so utterly stupid beyond human comprehension...

i'm feeling irritated the past few days because i cant seem to get things done.. thats other than school of course.. its getting on my nerves.. i feel so disorianted.. i lose focus so easily that i dont even know what i'm doing a second after i knew what i was... see... pure stupidity.. undeniably stupid! stupid to the extent where i can actually let my overwhelming emotions get the better of me...

previously, i told myself to use my head more than my heart.. it worked for about a year and then this stupid thing happened! so there's an expiry to this?! oh come'on! so i suppose now i gotta renew?! how much does the renewal fee cost?! the ruin of my changed, previously improved bloody attitude?! it always sucks when i face this problem once in a while.. i completely lose myself! i find it difficult to even relax for even a second... i'm sooooo tense, tooooooo disorianted and sooooooo very stupid to allow my emotions get the better of me..

i'm getting outta here! i need a comedy!

p/s: i promise my next post will b a happy one.. its a promise.. i'm gonna stop sulking.. darn...

Labels: i dont work well under pressure

you know.. a certain emotion sparks off and suddenly its not about how you feel anymore.. suddenly you feel like your face tightened and you hear you're blushing.. suddenly you can't sleep at night dreaming of the day you wish so much that could happen.. and suddenly you're dropped from high above.. a loud thud! your knees scraped, your palms bleeding and your bones broke.. but most importantly you know that something of yours broke real bad.. so bad that you dont even bother to fix it.. and now, instead of a certain kind of emotion you feel fear, having phobia of the one thing that brings joy.. and you know it brings joy.. but somehow, this little voice inside of you is asking you to let-it-go, but you've got no guts at all.. feeling too afraid to try something new... however, that feeling doesnt fade, you know you want it, you feel it, that tingling feeling inside of you, but you're ignoring it.. not wanting to feel more of it you shut yourself up... and then you realise that the more you run the stronger the tingling feeling grows.. not being able to escape it you dont know what to do anymore.. neither do you feel like talking about it.. it sucks, it sucks knowing that you're entitled yet deprived.. it sucks feeling good about it and yet fear it.. its all so contradicting.. but theres always this idiot.. you know who you are..

Labels: the adrenaline in me is rising

whoever has a heart, with blood flowing through their body, regardless misshapened or not, is a human being.. it doesnt matter the colour of their skin or where they come from.. the eyes of prejudice of people nowadays are just so..... i just feel like saying "take a look at your naked self in the mirror and tell me that you're physically flawless.." tell me that no one has ever said anything bad about your race or religion or the colour of your skin or even where you come from.. i've heard that chinese are stingy/selfish.. malays are rude/idiots/etc... indians are smelly/'dangerous' ... foreigners are stupid.. dumb blondes, short asians, small eyed chinese, blacks, etc.. it sounds horrible. who are you to judge.. well, i'm saying this because i've heard too many.. it might not have been about my race and religion, chinese and christian by the way, and i'm proud to be.. i think that faults should go to everyone, including me.. me not because i'm racist, but because when there was a chance to speak up for these people i did not.. not that i was invited or actually asked to speak up for them.. but i could have defended them when i hear people speak of them like that.. i've seen people quickly covering their noses when an indian walks past them.. and some even cover their childs noses and say "they're smelly.." i mean! come'on! teaching a child such ethnics?? no wonder the world is becoming like this.. i have friends who are malays, indians, chinese, mixed blood, blondes, filipinos, americans and asians.. whats wrong with that?? i just can't seem to accept the fact that there are adults who are teaching children racism.. aren't you a human being too?? how would you feel being the inferior race?? Adlof Hitler again?? the "pure aryan" race... oh come'on! anyways.. i've finished ranting.. (: but just take a look at the

Labels: you're not perfect neither am i

p/s: we shall see how much effort you put in

Labels: you're not gonna spoil my mood just like that

Hello! (: one of my favourite things to do now is to write poems/lyrics if you can put a tune to it. I enjoy lazy mornings especially when it's raining. I do things according to my mood, unfortunately, I can't do that for my studies.. I enjoy sitting at a corner and be absorbed in a book, so far I love Anne Of Green Gables and Heidi. Currently, I'm studying in Republic Polytechnic, Pharmaceutical Sciences. I'm taking up photo IG and pharmaceutica IG, IG here stands for Interest Group. I'm enjoying school and I love my new and old friends! (: ~ends here~

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